FATshion Journal Blog by Lilly

Rather than post after post on Facebook... I am going to "write" a blog about my favorite  commercials! AGAIN!!!Only this segment is my favorite Holiday Commercials - some classic and some newbies! Like always some make me laugh and some just #tear... Here they are, in no particular order... This one is just pure genius! I know it's the Holidays, as soon as this commercial starts circulating...   This one is a take from last year's Joe Boxer commercial and I like this one much more!  I'm just sad I wasn't invited to be in it! This one is simple! I love Bears!  Penguins are f***ing adorable! Who doesn't love The Beach Boys! And I love coke! Give. Live. Love. Folger's commercials always make me cry... but especially this one... The best gift is family and having people in your life that truly love and support you... I love this one especially because I can hear all sto...

Hi Everyone, So I wished myself a Happy Blogiversary and disappeared... There was an angry post I wrote but I might save that for another day. It's the Holidays and it just feels weird to post my angry thoughts. And it is safe to say that as much as I would like to be more consistent with my blog - it's gonna be more sporadic than anything, probably until after the wedding. It hit us really hard this past Friday, on the 28th--- That our wedding is officially FOUR MONTHS AWAY!!! Needless to say, I have been scaring the crap outta my poor Babo in the middle of the night because I'll wake up in the middle of the night with an anxiety attack! The nightmares can be anything from trivial regarding plastic untensils(As the MOH pointed out to me, "the woes of my life") to having nightmares of running like a mad woman in my wedding dress and then out of no where falling into the abyss. We have reached the point of no return and as most bridal magazines have s...

Toyour left: My favoritest blogging area, our dining room, with fresh-cut flowers and a cup of... wine, coffee, coca-cola, hot cocoa or simplly water ;-) ----------------------------------- Happy Blogiversary to me, happy blogiversary to me, happy blogiversary to Lilly, happy blogiversary to me! Okay now that we got that outta the way- what to write about... What to write about... Hmmm... I guess what makes the most sense, is to reflect on the last year since I jumped on this crazy train people call social media or sosh med... Depending who you talk to...lol or laughing out loud orphonetucally speaking, lowl! Well my blog has simply been a whirlwind of stupid and necessary fun!  I could give y'all a list of pros, so here they go: - It has given folks an opportunity to get to "know" me - I put that in quotations because the blog is a snippet of me but a cool enough snippet - It has become a conversation piece and it allows people to ask m...

It's that time again... Time for my FATSHION post! I strongly believe that no matter your size a day at the hair salon, always manages to make you feel prettier. And today, thanks to the randomness of life I finally got to cut my hair! After over 14 months of delaying a haircut... I finally treated myself to an evening of some self pampering at the hair salon! And as I sat down at the chair, I couldn't help but beat myself up! Ugh! The hair studio I go to (that I haven't been to, in over 2yrs) has floor length mirrors, so you're literally staring at yourself sitting. And you must be wondering... ...Aaaaaand, your point is.... Well, sitting down, I feel, it makes me look wider... Like my thunder thighs (which I do love) look more thunderous! And my double chin, that I normally don't have to look at and be in denial of, was staring at me straight in the face. And I kept on forcing myself to look at the mirror and truly and genuinely like what I w...

So far I've been 29 years old ly a week and thus far, not so bueno!My daddy was in a scary car accident (he's doing well, mainly super shaken up - he drives rigs for a living), then a trip to DL was followed by a REALLY BAD allergic reaction to something, I'll never know... And then missing a day of work (which to most is like yay but when you're recovering and missing a shit load at work--- it never feels like yay) It's only Tuesday but I feel like I've lived a whole month already...  Though we can't choose what chaos life will throw at us and what challenges we'll face... What we do have control over is how we react...  And last night after some self-healing my unhealthy way... I woke up this morning relieved... Because I woke up with an answer, rather than get angry, melancholy, anxious, crazy, bitter, psychotic,depressed (feelings that I am all to familiar with) - This morning, I chose kindness instead. It set me back a couple bucks for the...

I am 29 years-old! Celebrating! How the hell did that happen! Does anyone else feel like we just turned 18 and celebrated becoming an "offcial" adult when we were so stoked to be able to vote and smoke. Dude... If I could talk to 18 year-old me, I would let her know that she hasn't seen anything yet and to invest in something called Facebook or Tesla ;-) But seriously, I am 29! And I think, I officially, feel like an adult... So what does this year have in store me... BTW! Have I mentioned that I am getting married! LOL.. I just got back from picking up my dress, so forgive me if I am back on being bridesessed! And tonight we also went to go look at the bridesmaids dresses and thanks to the ahead planner that she is, my friend bought hers! And me and my mom, pinned down the dress for my mom! And now the  Wedding Planner  is playing on E. Following my birthday at Dianeyland, we have The Walking Dead premiere, we have baby showers, our friend's weddings, Hal...

If I told y'all the date it would kill the purpose of our STDs I am back! I took an unannounced break... a writing hiatus, I didn't want to write my blog because I HAD to but because I WANT to... And I finally feel like it... I have time and I am in a much better mood than I was in September- Something about the Super Moon and well, honestly, September, is my least favorite month... Actually, that's putting it lightly, I hate September! I am not sure why but I think it has something to do with it being the back-to-school month, or it's the month I got my first period, I'm not too sure... But I digress... Sooooo since it's finally the first day! Of my favoritest month! I figure I would give y'all the monthly wedding update. Though... I feel like that's all I did, all of September- Wedding Talk! Like I would hear myself and tell myself to shut up but still wouldn't... Not that I'm anywhere near becoming a bridezilla - I am becoming mo...

In the course of the last few weeks my dad went through old family albums and found some really awesome pictures of moi! It took me back to a time when I enjoyed being a kid  because we could play dress up. Today, it seems like we have to make up or have an excuse to "play" dress-up. As adults, we wait for Halloween or a themed party to dress a certain way. And even then, it's like a requirement to show more skin than I feel is comfortable... I just began to reminisce, especially when looking through all these pictures... I loved putting on my mom's dresses, her jewelery , her heels and putting on make up ( and my applying make up skills are still as "good" as they were then ;-) I would dress up and play with my imaginary friend, Fred and/or with my cousin.We would make up the most ridiculous story lines and sometime inappropriate, thanks to our moms' tele- novellas ... As a kid it didn't matter if you were tall, short, skinny or ...

About two weeks ago, today, we were packing away for our trip to Disneyland and we were super stoked and super nervous because we were taking my Babo's cousins and my niece, nephew and cousin. It was a total of 4 teenage boys and 2 girls, my Babo and myself. We looked like an awesome eclectic Brady Bunch. I love that 50-100 years from now the world will be an awesome-beautiful mix salad! And we had an awesome time, the reason I'm writing about it now is because my awesome Dad found some pictures of my first time ever at Disneyland! Which I am going to enter for the #Disneyland60Contest It just boggles my mind, I mean, we all say that time flies, But man! Looking back at those pictures! It's like... Holy sh*t balls! It really does... What sucks is that we didn't take a group picture but we do have these... On California Scremin' at Disneyland's California Adventure - I'm so cool I'm on their twice! lol Taking this trip did kinda make it e...

If you struggle with depression and thoughts of suicide, please visit this page . Its been a day and I can't help but relate...hearing about suicides triggers too many gloomy feelings... I need to get comfortable with words like depression and suicide. I once wrote about the ugly side of my GAD (you can read it here) and in it I said that I have played Russian roulette with my life - it was my way of telling the world of my attempts, yes, more than once.... As a survivor... I can't help but relate and almost romanticize death and freedom. I struggle with the idea of disappearing almost everyday. I could be having, what "normal" people call a "good" day or a "bad" day, it doesn't matter.  Today, I heard folks calling him a coward, selfish and a quitter... But little do people know (either because they lack experience or they don't care to know) that it's a constant struggle. No one knows his demons, no one knows m...

I am currently losing a fight with myself and I feel like I have been emotionally beaten by others and myself...  So today's post is short and sweet... In the meantime I am doing some self-healing by reading, drinking, eating and WRITING! and by the grace of God, a coworker invited me to join a challenge of 5 Days of Gratitude...  A reminder that even when I am mad at the world and myself - I have so much to be thankful for...  So today was Day 1 and it was all thanks to a pretty awesome morning when I got 3 1/2hrs to myself... If you remind yourself how blessed you are, it has a different impact on the rest of your day... And because of this I am also reminded that I need to attend church again- I haven't been able to in a really long time! I miss having time to decompress and reflect... I am in a dark room, I know where the light switch but for some reason I choose to stay in the dark... In order to be in the light and out of the d...

In a perfect world, according to me... Today would've started with a good morning kiss and with breakfast pastries in bed ... Later, before heading to work and me off to run errands, we could've shared a mimosa to celebrate today!  It's the small things... chivalry, a smile, a joke, a few kind words... And then... In the evening there would've been some fun had at color me mine and later-later we would've had my favorite type of dinner; small, intimate, good food, good wine and laughs - BUT instead one year later after our engagement, both parties got snarky and rude... So to that point that's what the August 1st Wedding Update is about... Around our first weeks of being engaged, someone told us that marriage is about wanting to strangle, to death, the person sleeping next to you but not doing so because you'd miss them too much... And today is one of those days... This also reminds me of someone's random thought of the...

Look up East Side Heroes and Find How You Can Give Back This past weekend there was a news feed going around on FB and it was about a brawl that went down in East Side San Jose along Story Rd. Reading about these news reports, in more recent day has become the norm... Almost as consistent as the news reports we were so use to hearing from Oakland. And I'm not gonna lie to y'all, those Oakland news reports scared the shit outta me... And still do...  But I have developed an immense amount of "a-ha" feelings because when I saw news reports about the East Side I always thought to myself, that it's not as bad as they depict it in the news. At least I use to- In more recent weeks the police blogger alerts go off way more often than they use to and with this news report circling FB... I dunno why but it just got more real... But here is my gripe with the story... Some ignorant self-righteous prick got on there and left a comment that "EastS...

 A whole year... and the only difference is the color...and wrinkles... Nothing serious... Today marks a whole year that I haven't bothered to cut or dye my hair!  I have wanted my long hair back... since like forever... Not a regret just a lesson  learned - note to self DO NOT get haircut when emotionally driven out of anger (That's why I cut my hair hella short about 5 years ago) I'm not sure why I have waited so damn long... But I am in dire need of a haircut (like a trim)!  Right now I have the Poor (Wo)Man's ombre... no joke- someone asked me where I got my ombre done because it was exactly what they were looking for and I was so embarrassed and flattered... btw. that's a weird mixture of feelings... And it really has been on my mind because this Friday will mark another huge milestone or bucket list item that occurred a year ago... I was trying to think of the last time I cut or dyed my hair and it was right before I left to the City o...

In  my Frenchy-Carrie-ish Skirt... And a pop of red! In honor of French National Day, today's 2nd FATSHION post is all about this striped skirt from Forever 21... Have I ever told y'all how I feel about stripes... Well... If I haven't... I'm telling you now! I Loooooooooove Stripes! So, please, imagine my heartbreak, at 13 years old reading a magazine and being told that because I am pear shaped I shouldn't wear stripes! (I'm still not sure who the eff came up with these terms but I like to say that I have a woman's shape)  So for about a year, I refused to wear stripes even though they were some of my favorite items of clothing... I would fulfill my cravings by wearing striped purses, socks and/or shoes- And then there was this pink and green striped shirt with a white lined collar... I was in love... but the words written on that stupid magazine kept on circulating in my head... I'm not sure what it was or what came over ...

When I say don't call me Coco... What I simply mean is, don't call me a Coconut... And no, that's not a reference to being nuts and/or crazy... It's a reference to what someone nicknamed me while I was on a trip in D.C. On this trip to D.C. I was the only brown kid out of 175 HS students from all over the US who were granted a week to explore politics and journalism- at that time I thought I was going to be a journalist... Well, on this trip my roommates were three white girls from Florida, Connecticut and New Hampshire. And one of them coined me Coco, short for Coconut because according to her, I was brown on the outside but "white" in the inside. For a long time I wore that nickname/badge with honor...Like yay! I have assimilated well enough to be considered like them. (Now let's clarify, Like them, but never one of them) BUT now... I'm not too sure how to interpret that nickname- I struggle with what it means to be...

I'm a huge fan of understated beauty... And that's all I thought about... If y'all follow me on Instagram, you know that I have said Yes to the dress! And I wanna share my experience... I tried on five dresses and I'll be highlighting the three that stood out the most. The whole moment was surreal! From scheduling the appointment, the drive to Trudy's, meeting the dress consultant (Ms. Jenn), actually discussing what I wanted in a wedding dress: (With  lace, a "poof", and without a question, sleeves!) OH and DID I mention the part that I had to get half-naked in front of a complete stranger!?! YUP! So I know I wasn't going to Kleinfelds but daaaaaaamn... I awkwardly stood there and realized she wasn't leaving even when I had to get undressed... And flashbacks from a couple months ago went through my mind... And I simply told myself to breathe and that I would be trying on my first wedding dress ever! I got undressed and changed into my ...

I Choo-Choo Choose You! Damn skippy...Son! Y'all know the drill... My Babo says the darnest things!  It's been a while since I've posted one of these... A smidge over three months... And here they are, as usual, I will try my best to provide you with a backstory: Backstory: I try my best to speak well... I had teachers who would correct the way we spoke in class... So it kinda stuck with me... Now, I kinda catch myself correcting people's grammar... (but only the same ones that the teachers would correct... cause let's face it- y'all can read my grammar ain't top notch.... I hate using periods at end of sentences.... like a single period - I dunno why) OK back to the story... There was a day where he got to correct me:  "I love it when I get to correct your grammar!" And the he did his wiggle dance... Backstory: My Babo weighs a good buck-35 - he likes to say 38 - but c'mon we all know those are his jeans adding a few extra lbs.....

I LOVE a collared dress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been promising a post of body positivity fatshion, along with a post of my favorite dress... And that I would be writing about highlighting my many awesome attributes at least once a month... And for no reason at all I have decided the 3rd post of the month... Wish me luck... Anywho, without further ado.. Here is one of my favorite dresses! Whenever I need a go to outfit... this dress, right-here, right-heerre... Is the one! It's long enough (cause if their short-ish,my butt tend to lift too much from the back= No Bueno) it's button up, it's red, it's collared, BUT  The top three reasons why I love this dress... #1 most important...it's VERSATILE! I have provided examples...I can wear for daytime, date-night, and work! All with the change of jackets and shoes... And hair & makeup...(Not shown because I honestly didn't have the time to do either) But did you notice me spo...

I LOVE READING!!! Especially words written by women!!! Okie dokie... Sooooo... if you have been following my blog, you know that I didn't post anything on June 1st, in regards to Weddimg Post Update... And that honestly has me freaking the f*ck out! The worst part of it is, that I internalize that kinda stress the best! Hence, I begin to use defense mechanisms that are not so good for you... like over eating and over drinking... The stress is not about that I didn't post anythung but that I didn't have anything to post about- I don't have an update because I haven't done anything! There are way too many things on our Wedding To Do list... And we just haven't gotten to any of it... I hope that by July1st I have an update- because I am stating here and now- that in June we are getting back to Wedding Wednesday! And we are hitting things on the nail! We will actually buy things for centerpieces and for STD's (Save the Dates...LOL) Today, instead o...

Yeah, it's safe to say I'm slightly obsessed... I apologize, there wasn't a Wedding Update from June 1st... We were still recovering from our mini vacay... And honestly we haven't done didly-squat...We're in the process of getting our calendars straightened out... Today, all I could think about was how much I love Disneyland!And they just announced they'll be making Mondays much more bearable! It's my Happiest Place on Earth! And that's saying a lot, from a girl who believes that happiness is way overrated. All I could think about was how much I wanna go back already... People usually ask and/or say... "You're going back???" Or "It's the same crap... How do you not get bored..." Well... Here are my top ten reasons why I LOVE Disneyland... (I have way more than 10 reasons but for reading time purposes, I'll keep at 10!) 1. It's literally the Happiest Place On Earth! It's my high!I get th...

I hope everyone had a restful Memorial Day weekend. Mine was jam packed with major accomplishments and lots of love! So much so, that I forgot today was Monday and that I needed to write my blog... And for consistency sake, I am writing to let y'all know to come back June 1st for a Wedding Update...   And that I am thinking about adding some kinda fat girl's guide to feeling and looking good, at least once a month... Every 1st,2nd or 3rd post... I want to try out this challenge I found on Instagram from the Aussie Perth Curvettes! Check 'em out I love theirr Instagram and their blogs! I'm not becoming a fashion/style blog by any stretch of the imagination... BUT I do enjoy looking good and feeling good about myself. And I haven't lately and that is a major part of my anxiety these days. I have been beating myself up and I want to make sure that at least once a month I highlight my many positive attributes! I am also in the middle of planning another trip...

I've lost count on how many times this has happened to me... Inspired by Belle and gary Busey... If you've read the "About Me" tab above, you know that I am a self-proclaimed weirdo! And proud of it! And in previous posts I've talked about the future hubby and his "Vinh-Isms" ...And as I was making note of another "Vinh-Ism" for an upcoming post... my Babo points out that he's gonna start making note of all the crazy sh*t that I say and do... As if me sharing that I have a tiny person in my head that speaks to my imaginary friend...isn't crazy enough... Well, I might be just a smidge crazier than that... And here's why... (For this portion, please imagine me sitting in a hospital bed like Haley Joel-Osment... and in a whisper here me say the following...) I talk to inanimate objects. Well, I tend to argue with them more than anything. And I'm saying this without a hint of irony. Here are just a few examples o...

Image from: thefuckitdiet.com Mother's Day was awesome and I ate like a pig after a great day of walking... I am struggling... That ugly wave-length of sadness and anxiety are making their presence known... We are now almost mid-May and I can't seem to get this healthy-kick started... I am tired and I am struggling mentally and physically - I don't have the motivation and really do not care to have it either... Outside forces are making me feel like I need to look differently for the wedding dress... And I am beginning to feel real resentful of their projections because I am willingly making them my own... I am ok with being fat so I don't know why I'm letting other people's opinions of me, affect me... I have been doing a lot of self-hating and avoiding mirrors! And did I mention? I am struggling... I come home from work and would rather clean or watch tv or spend quality time with my loved ones. This past Saturday we went ...