 |
| I've lost count on how many times this has happened to me... |
If you've read the "About Me" tab above, you know that I am a self-proclaimed weirdo! And proud of it!
And in previous posts I've talked about the future hubby and his "Vinh-Isms"
...And as I was making note of another "Vinh-Ism" for an upcoming post... my Babo points out that he's gonna start making note of all the crazy sh*t that I say and do...
As if me sharing that I have a tiny person in my head that speaks to my imaginary friend...isn't crazy enough...
Well, I might be just a smidge crazier than that... And here's why...
(For this portion, please imagine me sitting in a hospital bed like Haley Joel-Osment... and in a whisper here me say the following...)
I talk to inanimate objects. Well, I tend to argue with them more than anything.
And I'm saying this without a hint of irony. Here are just a few examples of the many arguments I've had with things...Y'all catch my drift...
- A real long time ago, like 20th century, I received enough birthday money to buy myself some new clothes. My cousin and I went to the great mall and I fell in love with a denim jacket - but then I looked at the price and held the jacket and told the jacket, "I didn't even like you that much, anyways."
- While looking for parking I will curse out cars! Not the driver... but those f'in cars that play hide and go seek... Y'all know which ones I'm talking about... you think you've found parking and then it's like JK - it's like the car mocks you as soon as you see it... And I take it one step further... IF we walk by the car, I will flip it off... or curse at it...
- If you didn't know, I hate computers! In the sense that they've always been a pain in my ass... So I have many, many, many arguments with computers - but in dire situations - I will sweet talk a computer - so much so that you would swear I was on a date hopin to get lucky...
- While creating ornaments for X-mas In The Park trees - we have to use contact paper to protect the ornaments from rain..And I'm telling you! Contact paper is a Beeeeeeeeep! One day that worked itself into the evening... I spent the whole day working on ornaments (And for the first time watched all Star Wars movies) Well at one point Vinh went to buy us food and when he came back he found me yelling and crying and he thought I was arguing with someone on the phone - but as it turns out I was having a full on argument with the contact paper...
- When I can't find something inside my purse - I yell at the purse as it's its fault that I can find things- I will dump the contents of my purse and then as I find the particular item I make sure to apologize to my purse.
- I fell down on my ass... hard! And I yelled at the floor... I mean chivalry is dead... The floor didn't even help get back up!
- And then there are my teddies! A complete love-love relationship... I have loved them all like they were family! And in our move I thought it was time to grow up and so I left Papa Bear (And I really regret it, I've had him since 1994) at home and I made sure to give him a proper hug, kiss and goodbye. And I cried... my mom ended up leaving him outside and he was picked up by some random person... So wherever you are, Papa Bear - I love you... I made sure to keep my original Teddy, Uzee, and the Disney Bear, Duffy.
And this is why I say, I am a therapists' dream come true - cause this habit of talking and arguing with objects has to be some kinda deep rooted sh*t... OR I watched Disney's Beauty and the Beast just a SMIDGE too many times (over 100ish times)
Yeah... I may have a problem...
That is all,
'Til next Tuesday,
Toodles
Gary busey inspired
Comments
Post a Comment