FATshion Journal Blog by Lilly

Yeah, you read that right! Your eyes do not deceive you... Long Live the Mother Fuckin FUPA! May the Fat Upper Pussy Area reign forever! I am a fat woman with a fat body, that includes fat thighs, a fat stomach, a fat face, fat arms and a Fat. Upper. Pussy. Area. And my God, I am on the verge of turning 33 thus by my calculations, it has taken me well over 21 summers to FINALLY look forward to the summer. I am at my heaviest I've been in my adult life, 210lbs if you must know- AND I am finally wearing shorts without shame! And for the first time in sooooooooo many, many, many, many, many, many... Well you get the gist... It has been years since I looked forward to bathing suit season for the actual bathing suits. As we officially come to mark the end of summer I would like to share that loving myself is a continuous journey. There are days I wish I were as fat as the days when I thought I was "fat" - at 163lbs. And then there are days that I simply thank G...

In the course of the last few weeks my dad went through old family albums and found some really awesome pictures of moi! It took me back to a time when I enjoyed being a kid  because we could play dress up. Today, it seems like we have to make up or have an excuse to "play" dress-up. As adults, we wait for Halloween or a themed party to dress a certain way. And even then, it's like a requirement to show more skin than I feel is comfortable... I just began to reminisce, especially when looking through all these pictures... I loved putting on my mom's dresses, her jewelery , her heels and putting on make up ( and my applying make up skills are still as "good" as they were then ;-) I would dress up and play with my imaginary friend, Fred and/or with my cousin.We would make up the most ridiculous story lines and sometime inappropriate, thanks to our moms' tele- novellas ... As a kid it didn't matter if you were tall, short, skinny or ...

In  my Frenchy-Carrie-ish Skirt... And a pop of red! In honor of French National Day, today's 2nd FATSHION post is all about this striped skirt from Forever 21... Have I ever told y'all how I feel about stripes... Well... If I haven't... I'm telling you now! I Loooooooooove Stripes! So, please, imagine my heartbreak, at 13 years old reading a magazine and being told that because I am pear shaped I shouldn't wear stripes! (I'm still not sure who the eff came up with these terms but I like to say that I have a woman's shape)  So for about a year, I refused to wear stripes even though they were some of my favorite items of clothing... I would fulfill my cravings by wearing striped purses, socks and/or shoes- And then there was this pink and green striped shirt with a white lined collar... I was in love... but the words written on that stupid magazine kept on circulating in my head... I'm not sure what it was or what came over ...

I LOVE a collared dress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been promising a post of body positivity fatshion, along with a post of my favorite dress... And that I would be writing about highlighting my many awesome attributes at least once a month... And for no reason at all I have decided the 3rd post of the month... Wish me luck... Anywho, without further ado.. Here is one of my favorite dresses! Whenever I need a go to outfit... this dress, right-here, right-heerre... Is the one! It's long enough (cause if their short-ish,my butt tend to lift too much from the back= No Bueno) it's button up, it's red, it's collared, BUT  The top three reasons why I love this dress... #1 most important...it's VERSATILE! I have provided examples...I can wear for daytime, date-night, and work! All with the change of jackets and shoes... And hair & makeup...(Not shown because I honestly didn't have the time to do either) But did you notice me spo...

I hope everyone had a restful Memorial Day weekend. Mine was jam packed with major accomplishments and lots of love! So much so, that I forgot today was Monday and that I needed to write my blog... And for consistency sake, I am writing to let y'all know to come back June 1st for a Wedding Update...   And that I am thinking about adding some kinda fat girl's guide to feeling and looking good, at least once a month... Every 1st,2nd or 3rd post... I want to try out this challenge I found on Instagram from the Aussie Perth Curvettes! Check 'em out I love theirr Instagram and their blogs! I'm not becoming a fashion/style blog by any stretch of the imagination... BUT I do enjoy looking good and feeling good about myself. And I haven't lately and that is a major part of my anxiety these days. I have been beating myself up and I want to make sure that at least once a month I highlight my many positive attributes! I am also in the middle of planning another trip...

Image from: thefuckitdiet.com Mother's Day was awesome and I ate like a pig after a great day of walking... I am struggling... That ugly wave-length of sadness and anxiety are making their presence known... We are now almost mid-May and I can't seem to get this healthy-kick started... I am tired and I am struggling mentally and physically - I don't have the motivation and really do not care to have it either... Outside forces are making me feel like I need to look differently for the wedding dress... And I am beginning to feel real resentful of their projections because I am willingly making them my own... I am ok with being fat so I don't know why I'm letting other people's opinions of me, affect me... I have been doing a lot of self-hating and avoiding mirrors! And did I mention? I am struggling... I come home from work and would rather clean or watch tv or spend quality time with my loved ones. This past Saturday we went ...

Too many looks to choose from... #FirstWorldProblems Wedding update and post as promised! To all my dedicated readers... I swear my pretentious ass! And thank y'all to those who do read and click on my posts! I made it to 2,500 views - a 1,000 short from my goal but gotta Dream Big as +Victor Ngo would say- so by May 1st let's aim for 4,000 views! Ok... Now to the wedding update: not much news from the last post... I'm still not exercising and we still haven't sent our Save-The-Dates to the printers (Heavy Sigh) But we have been very busy! Big news for all those who have been wanting me to have a baby! And wondering why we finally moved out on our own... We are pregnant! So there won't be any dieting or exercising from this gal! I'm telling y'all I make plans to lose weight and then God says, "nope.. I got other plans for you..." Now, I'm letting y'all know through his forum cause I'm curious to see how many will respond...

Life: Knock Knock Me: Who's there? Life: Mean Spirited... Me: Mean Spirited, Who? Life:  Mean Spirited Insecure Jealous Bitch! And that Bitch that I am referring to, is Me... I have fallen off the wagon- the wagon of self-love! Our venue is officially booked and the next item on the list is our Save the Dates and I am also suppose to officially begin looking for dresses- The "Looking Fly in my size 8/10 jeans" girl I use to be is back inside my head and having an argument with present "Still looking fly in my size 14 jeans" woman. Size 8 /10 convinced size 14 to hold off on sending the Save the Dates... Take a wild guess as to why I haven't??? I feel ugly and I feel ugly because I am fat! Now - WAIT... I know that I have said I am more than ok with being fat and that I do love myself and honestly - I do find myself attractive! (Toot your own horn!) But my self-esteem, recently, is common sense!  (My common sense) I am quick to point out all of ...

I am constantly thinking about what to write about and the subjects come at me like locust in an end of days movie and then I just feel more scatter brain and overwhelmed to write anything at all... And recently, just when I thought there was no wrecking ball to break down my writer's block,  it was brought to my attention that this blog is seeming more like a cluster of rants... And I honestly think that's what they are and will be...??? Since joining the 21st Century (For those of you that don't know; I just a got a smart phone and barely joined Facebook and all other forms of Social media) Naked, only in his arms, for life, literally and figuratively Well now, I have this compulsion; I have a thought and I want/have to share it immediately BUT sometimes I let the thought simmer and let it simmer - Until I can articulate my thoughts ... So Please bear with me while I send out a search party to find my blog voice -and in the mean time her...

The story of my life and will always rear it's ugly head... Ok... I got something to tell y'all... I mean... take a seat if you haven't done so and if you're sitting then you gotta lie down... It's top heavy news... It's bananas! and I am still in disbelief that I have decided to write about this... Here it goes... I. AM. FAT. Goodness gracious it felt so good to get that off my chest... phew! Now I know, you're thinking "Thanks Captain Obvious"  and you're also thinking "why, what's, with all the dramatics..." You see today is Thanksgiving and some time ago I told myself that I wanted to lose weight before the holidays so I can stuff my face wit hella food... AND A few months before that, one of my initial thoughts after being proposed to was "I guess diet begins soon" (which I obviously have not done) AND a few months before that, at the beginning of the summer I began to plan a diet and exercise regimen A...