FATshion Journal Blog by Lilly

* Trigger warning- (I recently saw a movie that I wish had started with one) so the following blogpost will include: anxiety, self-harm, suicide Thank you readers and followers that interact with my blog and my insta-stories, this one's for y'all. Thank you for providing affirmations and concern over my little corner on this Earth. Necklace from TYPO Thi will be some heavy shit, I know... I usually manage my functional depression really well and I made it throught the Holidays without fully bumming out so I thought I was in the clear for 2019. But God has a sick and twisted sense of humor because while I was planning weekend activities and #ootd shots - life slapped me with a wave of anger, shame, desperation, fatigue and overall put in a really shitty-fucking-selfhating mood. I could feel myself sinking and drowning but rather than ask for help, I put on a brave face and smiled- (I am sometimes of the "live in denial" mindset) Until Feb 18th when I lite...

I don't even know where to begin! Ummm, from the beginning, I guess... *Disclaimer: the trip was amazing! And as much I want to include my Fatshion OOTD for travel - this post is more about #FatGirlsCan - Fat girls can travel, fat girls girls can eat without counting calories, fat girls can be happy, THIS fat girl, with anxiety issues, can!!! Without further ado: Veni vidi vici We welcomed 2018 at home talking and talking and talking (and some dancing) about our dreams, our hopes, and our wishes for 2018. I told Vinh I wanted to get real for a milli-sec and this year would be the year of new adventures for us- every month I wanted us to try something new, and not just in the bedroom ;-0 - LMFAO - I couldn't help myself (My teenage sense of humor is another example as to why I'm not ready for kids). It would be as simple as a new restaurant, a new hobby, a new activity, now, I'm a strong believer that marriage in of itself is an adventure but that doesn't...

Photograph by HusVinh   I have written about loving Sundays with my hubby because we get to brunch and I get to wear flowy dresses and this is oh so true - again - two weeks ago ;-) I know it took me a while to post - I have been UBER busy! I need an actual vacation, soon! Anywho--- I'd been craving a Sunday brunch in the city and I'd also been dying to surprise my hubby with a place featured @bayarea_buzz - the coolest ever - well... for a Star Wars fan... The Yoda Fountain! Needless to say the hubby loved it! Found my fountain, you have... This Sunday outing we were also able to bring the trio #LitaPtachNano and the kids enjoyed a day walking around the Presidio.  And because every once in a while the stars align for me - the restaurant I wanted to go to was only a 5 minute walk away from the Yoda Fountain - so it was like THREE birds and one stone! Brunch at the Presidio Social Club ! Time with our trio! And the Yoda Fountain !  Brun...

The face I made when my hubby said, "We're going on Vacation... to Vegas" About two weekends ago I was in Vegas baby! *Yeah - no...* Sorry, I'm pretty sure my sarcasm is seeping through your computer/phone screen. I am also pretty sure that everyone knows my sarcasm stems from not being a Vegasy type of woman; Vegas is to me as church is to an atheist. What's the point in going when you just don't believe in it... Vegas is the furthest place from being modest - it's the city of debauchery, excess and grandeur. So imagine my lack of enthusiasm when I found out that this modest fat woman would be going to a wedding in Vegas and the eye-roll of eye-rolls, heard around the world (or at least in the Perez-Ngo's Little Humble-Abode) when I found out that I'd have to go to EDC. (Technically speaking, I didn't "have to go" but my hubby is very inclusive and he wanted us to attend EDC together - and he knows that I may be more ...

Sleeping Beauty and Maleficent Give it to me to go to Vegas and come back more of an empowered feminist than ever! Damn right! First of all... (clap, clap) Let's get something straight! (clap-clap)) My anxiety/insecurity prior to this Vegas Wedding slash EDC thing had NOTHING to do with my body!!! (CLAP) I struggle with finding nudity an empowering source! And not because I'm fat but because I've always been a believer in less is more - in where, the less skin I show, the more enticing and the more empowered I feel. Yeah! Ladies and gents! It's possible! And an argument can be made of the same saying; Less is more - The less clothing you wear the more enticing and empowered you can feel! And I say "I struggle" with 'empowering nudity' because we are bombarded with nudity everywhere we look - We are meant to be made to believe that we should all be comfortable with nudity - well I hate to break it to y'all but - nah! I've written ...

Image provided by http://makeameme.org/meme/when-someone-tries-tthwto First post of 2016! Happy New Year y'all! I am back and oh so happy, ever so happy to be writing again! I have missed my little corner of joy and release! I am excited, so excited! I have been reading Jess Baker's "Things no will tell fat girls" and it has been my main motivation to continue writing. It's also helping bring new life to my blog. It's the best-random, "just because" gift from my husband ever! I am no longer just a #JournalBlogger - I am a  #JournalFatshionBlogger Reviewing my 2014 and 2015 posts, some of my most popular posts were my Fatshion 101 posts, thus this year, I look to be more intentional about being body positive through my Fatshion 101 posts! So be on alert for my Valentine's Day Fatshion 101 post! Now to present matters at hand... My last post was over a month ago and it was inspired by my tiredness of people's ignorance. And today...

Yes, you read this post title correctly. Our children will be Half breeds! Hapa! Multi-Cultural! Half Asian! Half Latino! But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Disclaimer, this isn't a "We're expecting" announcement. Let's start from the beginning... A couple days ago my husband and I had dinner at a local pho restaurant and this was our second time there. In the both times we went, the restaurant was scarce with customers, meaning it's usually just us and one other customer. It's like that kind of restaurant  that's probably super busy over lunch time but not dinner time.. But I digress... Well, the first time we went to this restaurant the food was good and the service, well... same-old, same-old of a local pho place... but always the same-old, same-old curious looks, curious questions and... And after eight and a half years of dating, being engaged and marrying a man outside of my culture - it's just getting plain-old BORING an...

Selfie at Cliff House Entry date: October 7th, 2015 I just turned 30 years-old a couple hours ago and I'm feeling all kinds of ways! But above all those feelings is love! The most important element of my birthday celebrations is to feel loved and I do-ooohh! So many feelings, so little time... but in reality I've had the last 10 years to come to terms with turning 3 0! I remember being 20 and praying for love, peace of mind, good health, a meaningful life and above all a small circle of friends and family that love me. I felt sooooh lost at 20 and I needed to be found, it has been a journey and it continues to be... but I have a partner that loves me unconditionally, I have made peace with so many of my deamons, and I have had a physical and I'm doing okay-ish... Update: 10/27/15: Minus growing kidney stones... Everyday, I work on making my life meaningful by loving and speaking honestly with loved ones and most importantly myself.  Though I...

Another Fatshion 101 post, umm yes!!! (It's a mixture about one of my new favorite dresses and a reality that all Happy Fat and Fabulous Girls must face....) You see- I did write a REALLY ANGRY post but the hubby recommended that I hold off posting it. At least until I let my feelings simmer down. And every once in a blue moon I take his advice wholeheartedly... Beeeesiiiiiides we were headed to Callistoga and we both agreed that I had gotten that bitter sh*t out of my system and that it was time to enjoy each other. Oh the scenery...Wish we could go back... So off to my Fatshion 101: "Online shopping is this fat girl's best friend" I have been wanting to travel for a really long time, that bite that just keeps gnawing at the wanderlust part of my brain... And I read some great advice from a FB page... If you have that wanderlust bite but not the time, it suggested just to try a new scenery for a few days...  And with a job schedule constraint it...