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| Sleeping Beauty and Maleficent |
First of all... (clap, clap) Let's get something straight! (clap-clap)) My anxiety/insecurity prior to this Vegas Wedding slash EDC thing had NOTHING to do with my body!!! (CLAP)
I struggle with finding nudity an empowering source! And not because I'm fat but because I've always been a believer in less is more - in where, the less skin I show, the more enticing and the more empowered I feel. Yeah! Ladies and gents! It's possible!
And an argument can be made of the same saying; Less is more - The less clothing you wear the more enticing and empowered you can feel!
And I say "I struggle" with 'empowering nudity' because we are bombarded with nudity everywhere we look - We are meant to be made to believe that we should all be comfortable with nudity - well I hate to break it to y'all but - nah!
I've written a post about being naked at a Korean spa with my S.I.L. (read here) And I've tried to find the LIBERATION by being naked but a little over 2 years later and I'm still not on the 'empowering nudity' wagon and guess what - IT IS OKAY!
My anxiety/insecurity came from wanting to fit in and knowing that in order to do so, I would have to go full on half naked, tatas and ass out... And guess what ... EPIPHANY!
I am 30 years-old - I am fulfilled - I am blessed - - - And I got real with myself - I slapped myself silly and asked - - -
Why the fuck am I tripping balls about fitting in with the raving culture? Well cause I wanted to make sure I didn't stick out like a sore thumb and guess what - no one gave a sh*t - just like my co-worker had said - everyone was too f****d up to care and look. (Minus the couple of kids that asked me and my husband to take pictures with them and complimented my horns - so yay me!)
And yes, I said kids - my nephew was at this carnival as well so needless to say - I felt more like an auntie making sure everyone was taken care of, including friends and strangers.
My younger brother told me that my issue is that I wasn't drunk enough - but I guess my thought is - if I gotta be under the influence to enjoy something - is it in actuality fun? Perhaps...
And I can promise 70%-80% of the crowd was either high or drunk if not both. And I happily would've been drunk but that meant peeing in a porter-potty - so nah! An approximate 200.000 people and no toilet paper - you put that sh*t together (pun intended)
I'm not ashamed to admit that I am just too bougie (excuse me for requiring in-door plumbing), too stuck-up (please do not do not touch me wit yo' sweaty ass bodies) and I am just too old for this sh*t (no explanation necessary)
A long time ago I was taught to say something was interesting if I didn't particularly like it but I feel that would be too harsh in this instance - EDC was an experience had - one that I don't necessarily want to have again but still an experience I'm glad I had.
I swear we weren't even drunk ;-)
The rave world is one the world's most popular subcultures of electronic music and super friendly folks. That was a fun fact - like I've done the club scene where you practically have to elbow your way through - but here - the folks are super friendly (or super high and mellow according to the groom) whichever - the crowd was considerate, the heat was tolerable and the music - egh - a bit mind numbing until we got to the main stage.
When we got to the main stage - my husband and I really let loose with dancing - because drunk or sober, dancing makes me really happy and luckily the main stage had more of the "EDC" music we are familiar with.
The atmosphere is one of sweaty bodies walking around from one stage to another - or sitting down to enjoy the high - or watching other people trip the f**k out - as we saw with one gentlemen - and the ambiance-the scenery is what I found the most beautiful.
Stay with me - I love carnivals, rides and lights! So imagine lit up trees that change colors with magnifying colors, and fire and sounds - it was beautiful. As soon as we passed the welcoming sign - I whispered into my husband's ear - "okay, this isn't so bad - it's actually kinda beautiful"
And even more beautiful were the women dressed in practically nothing and the women covered from head to toe. Yes, there were enough bare asses to last me a lifetime and I found that to be beautiful and there were women covered up as well and that's just as beautiful. And ah - there is the epiphany - the LIBERATION lies within having a CHOICE.
I told you at the beginning of this post that I came back more of a feminist and I meant it! As much as I wanted to go up to these young ladies and say cover up - I have to remind myself that to be a feminist means that we are affording the next generation an OPTION to redefine what it means to have a CHOICE!
It is Your CHOICE to be naked - it is My CHOICE to be dressed. My choices are not a reflection of you - they are simply mine. Don't take it personal when I say I enjoy more refined events, or when I say that I prefer in-door plumbing - or that I feel sexier in a button down shirt with a pencil skirt than I do naked - those are my preferences - those are MY CHOICES!
It's MY CHOICE to save some stuff for the bedroom - or this blog post - & others for the elevator ;-)
And as feminists we have to support each other - let her know she looks fabulous - dressed or naked - BUT DO NOT make her feel like she NEEDS to be either.
Check out my favoritest feminist - my hubby!
And no one made me feel like that other than myself - I thought I needed to be naked to fit in --- And my hope is that those who did go "naked" did it because they WANTED not because they felt they NEEDED to.
I gladly snapped myself out of it - and also had the support of my friends and husband to remind me to be myself (yeah even at 30 yrs-old we need a reminder)
In conclusion, I did enjoy myself to the fullest, all the way to sunrise...
...and then .., and then - I was MORE than happy to just go home...
That is all,
'til next time (where I'll share #DresstinationsByLilly)
Toodles,
Mrs. Lilly Perez-Ngo
PS -
So uh - Disneyland anyone?
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