FATshion Journal Blog by Lilly

Photo from here I have been listening to a lot of music... Music is one of my favoritest and most powerful self-healing tools. Music and lyrics are open to interpretation and can always differ depending on your feelings, your experiences and your mood - Music can make you cry, dance, laugh, smile, hate, resent, remember...etc... And I am not saying anything new about music that hasn't been written before but it has been my only solace - that not even wine can reach ;-) In the past three weeks I have had two handful of panic attacks - sometimes accompanied with sleep-paralysis - the feeling of being awake but being unable to move. (Which is one of my irrational fears - not having control of my body - that - and going blind) Or I will wake up in panic attacks and sometimes a little bit of both - where in my moment of sleep paralysis - I could hear my own screams but my mouth is unable open, or children laughing or a burglar in the house - so I finally wake up but in a...

Y'all ready for some shocking news! Happy New Year! I'm all of 31 days late or 3 days late if you celebrate Lunar New Year... Either way I'm late to the celebration party. We are 11 days into the orange-sexualt-assaulting piece of shit presidency and guess what that "hardworking business mogul" y'all idiots voted for has Already requested time-off and is off vacationing in Palm Beach. Meanwhile the country is in turmoil but hey who gives a fuck right... Anywayssss... This post is sort of a new year's resolution about adulting-up inspired by this country's lack of morals. Five days ago, January 25th, the husband and I celebrated 10 YEARS! of knowing each other (We met on Vinh's first day at SJSU!) This upcoming March we will have been married 2 years, and in May we will be celebrating 10 YEARS TOGETHER! We began dating at 21 years-old and now at 31 years-old I was like whoa, and then he was like whoa and then we were both li...

The proceeding rant is to not be twisted - Though I am emotionally exhausted from this year... I'm still grateful and I still feel blessed with family and friends, I have a roof over my head, I have food on my plate and I go to sleep in my own bed with a sprinkle of Disneyland trips and mini adventures BUT DAMN IT this year has been extra...( as the kids say) I am literally fucking done with this year! The only real positive memorable event is my little brother's wedding - other than that 2016 can roll over, eat shit and die for all I care! There were many lessons learned and they were fucking hard and fucking emotionally, fucking mentally and fucking physically draining!!! Yes! That many f-bombs are fucking necessary! Because it has been that fucking draining. Okay-okay... I apologize but I needed to get those outta me... I'm writing to you from my sanctuary (our bedroom), I am finally-ish getting over this cold and can finish editing my thoughts from the ...

A long time ago, my career-life was managing after school programs and I have sooooo many great memories from that time. (I crave it so bad!) I recently began day dreaming of those days because of a trivial regret I had... On our last trip to Disneyland I wore a shirt dress without a jacket, without a cardigan, without, what I refer to as, "my protective layer." I didn't care that you could see my love handles, or that you could see a hint of my muffin top, or that stomach bulged out a bit or that my dimpled knees could be seen... I REALLY DID NOT CARE! We would pass a glass window and I would instead admire the curves of my fat ass, the curves created by my breastesses, the striped shirt that complimented my awesome white shoes - that I've managed to keep white for over 8 years!  LIKE! Look at you mujer! Smiling and working hard everyday to love and appreciate life! I was so damn ready to pat myself on the back as we sat down to have our Sund...

Pointer-outters, bye! To understand... read on... This summer I did something pretty radical! Well, radical for me... I was 12 years-old going on to 13 years-old when an adult decided to point out my cellulite and the bulgy parts above my knees. I was beginning to enter the stages of pre-puberty hormones and changes, my hips got a bit wider, my thighs a bit thicker and hair began to grow in strange places! I remember being excited to wear shorts that summer because my mom finally allowed me to start shaving my legs. Yes, I had to ask for permission to shave my legs. But the thrill of finally getting to flaunt my hairless legs dissipated the minute someone pointed out my bulgyness and dimpled flesh. This moment wasn't necessarily the end to my shorts-wearing days but it was the beginning of the end. I started to desperately look for special creams, I would do squats every morning but the cellulite would not disappear. The shorts only got longer and then just no...

Photograph by HusVinh   I have written about loving Sundays with my hubby because we get to brunch and I get to wear flowy dresses and this is oh so true - again - two weeks ago ;-) I know it took me a while to post - I have been UBER busy! I need an actual vacation, soon! Anywho--- I'd been craving a Sunday brunch in the city and I'd also been dying to surprise my hubby with a place featured @bayarea_buzz - the coolest ever - well... for a Star Wars fan... The Yoda Fountain! Needless to say the hubby loved it! Found my fountain, you have... This Sunday outing we were also able to bring the trio #LitaPtachNano and the kids enjoyed a day walking around the Presidio.  And because every once in a while the stars align for me - the restaurant I wanted to go to was only a 5 minute walk away from the Yoda Fountain - so it was like THREE birds and one stone! Brunch at the Presidio Social Club ! Time with our trio! And the Yoda Fountain !  Brun...

The face I made when my hubby said, "We're going on Vacation... to Vegas" About two weekends ago I was in Vegas baby! *Yeah - no...* Sorry, I'm pretty sure my sarcasm is seeping through your computer/phone screen. I am also pretty sure that everyone knows my sarcasm stems from not being a Vegasy type of woman; Vegas is to me as church is to an atheist. What's the point in going when you just don't believe in it... Vegas is the furthest place from being modest - it's the city of debauchery, excess and grandeur. So imagine my lack of enthusiasm when I found out that this modest fat woman would be going to a wedding in Vegas and the eye-roll of eye-rolls, heard around the world (or at least in the Perez-Ngo's Little Humble-Abode) when I found out that I'd have to go to EDC. (Technically speaking, I didn't "have to go" but my hubby is very inclusive and he wanted us to attend EDC together - and he knows that I may be more ...