I have been thinking about writing this post for a while but have been debating because I do not want to come off as having all the answers...because I DON'T.
A while back +Victor Ngo and I talked about how we are going to raise our kids... And someone asked us, "You guys already talked about that?" And I thought to myself... umm yeah...!?!
I have always been the kind of person that needs to talk EVERYTHING out! I need to have conversations to certify and solidify things... let's just say I am a therapists' dream come true (or worst nightmare...hmmm)
On our first official date, Vinh talked about wanting 10 kids...!
Anyways, as Vinh and I began dating - I wasn't ok with being called "Babe" until we actually talked about being exclusive because I didn't feel right having a pet name if I was still seeing other guys or vice-versa.
So after a couple of months dating, we made it official and then he wanted to introduce parentals...so after some convincing, we did-
About two years and a half later we were about to turn 24yrs-old and I went through my quarter life crisis a year earlier than most and I needed to know that we weren't just dating; that we were heading toward an actual future TOGETHER as partners. Sooooo.... we came up with this...
We laid out his goals and my goals and our goals as a couple that way- it was there, in clear blue and white... With the understanding that life can happen and that we could make modifications, if we needed to...
So. When people ask what's your dream wedding? It's hard to say because I've been more focused making sure that we are making the right decisions as life partners, as partners... So I am having a real hard time being a typical girl obsessed with wedding details... wonk-wonk-wonk...
And within the last few years we have talked about EVERYTHING... how many kids, what religion will we raise the kids in, how will we vacation, what if I change my mind about having kids, what languahe will be apoken in the home, finances, family time with his and my family and just us, joint bank accounts or separate bank accounts, who manages the money, how often do we "knock boots," who will cook, who will clean, we have even talked about divorce etc, etc, etc.
I mean, you name it, we have more than likely talked about it. I have always wanted to be a wife and a mother and I made that very clear to Vinh. And these conversations weren't always the most civil of conversations but we had them and came out unscathed-ish... LOL
Our greatest fear is divorce! And I know what most people are thinking, that either we shouldn't talk about it or if we're talking about it, it's because we already plan to...
And though Vinh and I love each other illogically... We are still very logical and realize that sometimes life happens. We don't want it to happen to us but we understand that it might or might not.
Think of it as car insurance, we have it but that doesn't mean we want to be in a car accident.
I approach my relationships this way with almost everyone that I love BUT more so with someone that I plan on spending the rest of my life with... So why wouldn't we talk about these things... I would rather find out all those things before being married... but that's just me... All within respect of time and commitment...
So for folks trying to figure out their relationship status... To be single or not to be single? Figure out what you want out of the time you have been given on this Earth and talk about it with your partner and/or yourself...
And what is meant to be, will be...
That is all,
'Til Next Tuesday,
Toodles
ps. other couplettes and singletons please chime in...
pps. Actual Wesding Update: I am announcing the beginning of healthy-er-ish living... I am going to work out-ish and walk 10,000 steps a day - my something new month challenge! Update next month June 1st! Wish me luck!
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