If Negative Nancy and Debbie the Downer had a baby it would be me, Lugubrious Lilly

This is my GAD and OCD  at its best! Disorders my ass...

Ok - my state of mind when I came up with this blog entry, I was pissed off and irritated but today, after a whole day of Disney movies and lounging I have had a hard time getting started (I have also been planning our next Disneyland trip this weekendand it needs to be perfect since it's my x-mas gift for my parents and niece)

Now! I am the kinda person when I hear someone say "How are you doin?" and someone responds "cant complain" I think to myself   "Oh, I bet you I can" Hence the title of post #3 And now I'm trying to channel that person and eureka!  Found the anger! Grrr.... (Yeah that made my point)

Here is the back story, last Sunday I met with my friend, +Sylvie Roussel  that I hadn't seen in over a month (thanks to her for tracking me down) And obviously there was a lot to catch up on! It has been busy busy - when I wrote Post #1 It had been the first weekend in months that I had nothing to do - (add that on to the numerous reasons why I started this blog)

Now for the back-back story - As I mentioned in an earlier post (as if I have hundreds)- about a year ago I was in a very dark(x10) place - I gave myself a year to recover before I re-entered the work force - more specifically before I went back to working for/with kids - (You cannot work for/with children unless you're ready to put your game face on because most kids, no matter the age, can read bullshit/character half a mile away)

So, this last summer I interviewed for a front line staff position - (did tremendously well in my interview - toot-toot: someone in the interview literally said out loud "man, you're good" within 2 1/2months I got promoted) That interview slip should have been a clue as to the level of professionalism I would be working for and with - (I know! I'm hating on a compliment about me but in interviews its against HR for comments like that and this organization with its magnitude should be more PC than it is)

Simply put! Some of these folks are Dodo-Heads!Nothing wrong with that if people are willing to grow and learn...

My Assignment... At least I tried...Right... Justification....Anyone...

And at this dinner I found myself complaining, complaining, and complaining...So Sylvie gave me an assignment to turn the negatives into positives and soon after that found ourselves  also talking a lot of shit! I mean who doesn't enjoy a good session of talking shit!

Right!!??? I have been reading this book  for work called "7 Habits of  Highly Effective People" and it's awesome! It forces you to take a look at yourself! It talks about these principles to live by and the one that I have the hardest time with is being positive - I mean the name of my blog is Happiness is Way Overrated... C'mon right!

I really do try my best! I tell my self that I really want to be positive! That I won't participate in negative feelings/thoughts/words BUT then I find myself justifying it by saying the line is blurred between gossip vs venting... So Sylvie and I decided that Gossip = Juicy info and Venting is when things are problematic/issues in my life... But even then I left unsatisfied with our resolution -

I realized that I don't like to gossip... earrrrrrrghk..... hit the breaks....... (I had actually written pull the break but then +Victor Ngo  said who says that???? But it depends which break right - you cant hit the emergency break you have to pull it) Any ways back to my point- Say what! You would think I'm lying and I don't blame you!

But I honestly don't like to gossip when the person or event being talked about can't defend themselves - or help themselves - I think this explains why I play devil's advocate,  to assuage my guilt for when I do participate in talking shit sessions...

But I feel like if I don't gossip I am left out - in both the work place and my personal life - I'll say this I do a much better job of not doing it at work  than in my personal life- But that's only cause I feel I would have more to gain if I didn't gossip at work- muahahaha (I dunno why but that sentences needed a maniacal laugh)

And that's all I pondered about the whole week to gossip or not to gossip - while also working on my assignment of turning my negatives into positives - and then...

AND then... I gave up! I realized I cant  escape what comes naturally to me - I am who I is and I is who I am - cause even when I know I don't like talking shit or  that I don't like folks that generalize the world - I find myself talking shit about how much they talk shit!

Long story short: Talk all the shit you want and repent (like you needed my permission)- Tip: do a good deed a day and keep the guilt away- Ha!

PS. I did promise myself that I am work in progress!