I'm Playing Devil's Advocate... But only a few people like to play with me...

Baggage Claim - Pick up at Gate Misunderstood

Welcome Back Readers!

I had promised myself I'd be back every Saturday - but I thought I would wait this time around until after catching up with friends and family - for inspiration....

I am a bit of a night owl - so I will just go ahead and aim for once a week - let's  hope someone holds me accountable- how's that sound Fred? - Fred says "Sounds gooood"

So here you go folks Post #2 Woohoo! And I am already struggling with writer's block and my bestest friend, procrastination...

In my previous blog I talked about the shit load of baggage I have (which I will delve into like later-later) and I also mentioned my friends (one of which is my cousin +irlanea Luna  [I love you and thank goodness you're an orchid]),

The 3-5 people in my life that truly know me, but not necessarily all of me - (Because I compartmentalize a my life - it's just not all folks can handle all o' this) have brought something to my attention that I would like share....

(For effect: Please make note of the literal baggage pictured above cause we are all crazy bag ladies at the end of the day and yes, that's a chocolate doughnut in my bag #fatgirlperks)

There is a small number of persons in my life that know my true essence. (Disclaimer: I swear this is not a self-pity party) I do not have a huge circle of friends and at my age that is considered abnormal and I am truly ok with that - I haven't always been though -

For a long time I thought that there was something wrong with me (which there probably is - I just haven't figured it out and I'm just blessed to have people in my life that accept me for truly being me, baggage and all and one of them put a ring on it +Victor Ngo love you love ) -

I thought that I was incapable of making new friends and/or keeping the ones that I had. You see, since elementary school my friends seemed to have had a 4yr expiration date and then a new batch of friends would surface and by the time I was in college - Most friends had reached their expiration date.

I am realizing now that I was and am constantly changing and that sometimes with that change I was and am bound to lose folks who don't get me anymore. And those 3-5 people have stuck around to help me claim my previously mentioned baggage. And these same people have allowed me to see their baggage as well (And as pointed out to me tonight by one of those people-  It's thanks to my "Curious Georgina" tenacity: [you see what I did there: jaja])

I am still not sure if  my number of friends is kept that small because of my major trust issues or because I can be awkward as, rhymes with duck... but one thing I do know for sure is that I have some of the most genuine people as friends. They are not afraid to speak the truth about themselves or about me and I am grateful for their blunt-ness (not a word but just made it one) - though not always happy to hear it.

I want y'all to understand that wasn't and hasn't or will continue to be that way... with some folks it has taken me a whole lifetime to get there and with other folks within a couple of years of knowing one another; and with some folks there were periods of hiatus. 

And I pride myself in having great listening skills - and though I have been to a dozen of trainings on communication and listening - blah-blah - (and after reading a few pages from "7 Habits of highly effective people")   I realized that I was more concerned with playing Devil's Advocate than truly taking part in "deep" listening. 

I have challenged and played their Devil's Advocate for years,  even when they weren't asking for it  - and sometimes at an over-bearing standard, which has been made clear to me by some of these very same friends - cause if you're told once- it's by chance, if you're told twice- it's a coincidence - and if told a thrid time maybe it's a pattern-  so yeah....

And please keep note that playing Devil's Advocate has also helped me, help some of my friends embrace empathetic ways if not at least helped them reflect. (See! there I go again - I even my play my own Devil's Advocate within my blog - it's like a dream within a dream - I can't help myself)

Moving forward I have made a mental  note that from now on I will ask before I play Devil's Advocate So thank you my lovely little handful of friends for continuing to challenge me and letting me challenge you - even when you don't ask me to :-)

PS So happy I finally joined the 21st Century - well for now at least...