I just finished watching a film about Iris Apfel! She is truly fascinating! Women that make something of themselves by being TRUE to themselves are my spirit animals! But more so, this woman! Especially after I read one of her more inspirational quotes:
And when I watched the film about Mrs. Apfel and reading her quote - it not only reminded about my style choices but about my recent presentation after presentation after presentation for the program I work for - because every time, just before I have to present - I get super anxious!
But in my most recent presentations I have found it to be more soothing when I give personal anecdotes about why I enjoy working with our families and why I began to volunteer for our program.
The first few times that I would share my personal stories, I would get teary eyed because I am reminded of why I do what I do and why I am who I am.
I grew up in East Side San Jose and lived in section 8 apartments all my life, well into my adulthood - until my husband - my then fiance and I decided to move out on our own. At a very young age I came to understand the differences in society when you have money vs when you do not.
I remember at a staff development training we were asked when was the first time you noticed race - and I couldn't think of an exact moment. But the memory that resonated the most wasn't about race it was about socioeconomic status.
So here's a little family history, my mother migrated to the United States because of the Civil War in Nicaragua (that's in Central America;-) And her leaving wasn't by choice, my grandma (technically my great aunt but she raised my mom so she's my grandma) told my mom that she needed to accompany her brother, whether she wanted to or not.
My mother didn't come looking for the "American Dream" but by the time the war had ended, I had been born and my brother was just an infant and by then my mom opted to stay in the United States since I had already started schooling and my mother figured that my brother and I had a better shot in the US BUT my grandma wasn't in complete agreement with her choice - so majority of summers from my childhood were spent in Nicaragua so that I wouldn't forget my roots.
You see, my grandma could afford a lifestyle of grandeur, she was pretty well off and during some summers had me attend etiquette classes and my mom grew up pretty well off in a two story house with maids and a guaranteed business to take over. Thus, during those summers and at a very young age I could see the power behind money, the discrimination behind money and the meanness behind money.
I love my grandma with all my heart and I learned at a young age that my views on the world would always be in high contrast from hers and it became more evident after one of my last childhood summers in Nicaragua.
We had just come back from eating at one of the more bougie restaurants and because I hadn't finished all my food took a "doggie bag" home (much to my grandma's chagrin because the "rich" don't "need" to eat leftovers according to my classes) and on our way home we stopped at a red light and there was a child washing windows for mere chumps of change.
The little boy couldn't have been older than 9 years-old - so I rolled down my window and was about to give him my left-overs - when all of a sudden - my grandma gripped my arm with a force that scared the sh*t out of me! I got scared and dropped the food and I cried as I saw the little boy run toward the food that had spilled all over the street road and I cried because the little boy frantically picked up the food - how hungry do you have to be, to be willing to eat food that just hit a street road?
And just when I thought it couldn't get worse, we're still at the red light, and the little boy offers to wash our windows! My grandma then instructs our driver to not let him and to drive off! As we drive off - I look back and the little boy, and he looks so confused and as I'm ready to sulk my grandma slaps me! (If you haven't picked up on it - my grandma is very old-school) She tells me that it's not my job to take care of "those" people! I was a child and couldn't form my thoughts or my words but now as an adult - I believe that memory to be a very formative moment as to why I am who I am today.
So now, when some super ignant folks truly get so much enjoyment by referring to my hood, my barrio as the ghetto - I think back to this memory. And when these same ignant folks look down at those neighborhoods and not only the neighborhood but the people that live there as well, I think back to this memory.
These same ignant people refer to us as ghetto, poor and low class - but if they had any sense - especially if you're "college educated"! If YOU had any smarts you would know the politically correct terms are gentrification and low-to-very-low-income neighborhoods. You would know WHY people live under different circumstances! And if you know WHY - you do not throw those terms around!
And before y'all roll your eyes about being PC - to be PC means to be socially aware of people's cultures, to have empathy on what might offend some folks - to be compassionate of other people's experiences and perceptions.
So when ignant folks refer to my neighborhood as the ghetto or that some how we're "lower class" believe you me that I have something to say!
My parents brought me up to treat the custodian with the same respect I would treat a CEO!
And by all means I have met people and am related to people of all classes and cannot deem one set of people one way or another! One, because it's not my place to do so, two, I understand folks have had different experiences and THREE! Because I do not live under the DELUSION that I am better than anyone else because I have pretty things and others do not!
I can promise you that I have met folks with nothing to their name that carry more class in their pinky finger than some folks with everything who carry themselves with so much crass!
Sooooooooooo much crass that it's embarrassing to me and themselves!
Because for all the "education" you've had and all degrees you have in the world, none of it will mean anything if you still can't respect yourself, your family and other people's families experiences - So how about you try kindness, it doesn't cost you a damn thing!
Fatshion with a message!
That is all,
'Til next time,
Toodles,
MRS, Lilly Perez-Ngo
I didn't grow up with much but I've always known that I love clothes! I love that you can express yourself by simply putting on clothes! So learning about Mrs. Apfel and then reading this quote, blogspired me! On my #JournalFatshionBloggingAdventures - When you don't have much, you have to be more creative and more resourceful with what you've got and I believe that's always pushed my style! Thus, I would like to share one of my style tips that I am most proud of!
Recycle, reuse and REPURPOSE!
This "vest" was actually one of my favoritest go-to light cardigans from Forever 21 because it goes with everything! But because I wore it so much for like 7 years, the sleeves began to fall apart with hole after hole! It became my "hole-y" cardigan! LOL! I make me-self laugh!
Thus, I decided to repurpose it by simply cutting the sleeves so I took it my trusty dry-cleaners and she was able to make the adjustments! And now ta-da! I have a vest!
I've paired it with my favoritest chambray that might eventually become a vest as well;-)! From Target!
And to give the outfit a little more pop, I've paired it with my blue-blue jeans from Target as well!
And for a little funk, some animal print at my feet, guess from where... Target! And shades from J.Crew Factory.
The necklace is recycled and reused from Juicy Couture - my SIL didn't want it anymore and it took from her hands and into my closet a few years back and recent months I've worn it, since my latest obsession is layers necklaces - and pearls - awgh! Are just my favorite! A bit grandma-ish but what can I say - my stle is basically grandma-ish with sass and funk!
And my denim jacket that I've never been able to let go of! When I first bought this jacket, I didn't want to spend more than $30 and every time I would find a jacket that I loved - it would cost $50+ and so I would argue with the jackets!
So when I found this beauty for less than $30 at the Gap outlet - I was sooooooo happy!
So that was more than 15 years ago! And I had a really hard time parting with it! When the sleeves began to go - I made the jacket a 3/4 quarter sleeve jacket. And then when the sleeves from the top started to wither - I would patches and finally it became a vest!
And it now how has one of the most distressed looks ever! And I laugh when I see jackets like mine in fashion magazines selling for over $1,000 and here mine is at less $30!
In this outfit, I've brought it back to life, by pairing it with a chevron-ish print skirt and this maroon cropped light sweater from ZARA and accessories: Necklace: Forever 21 and Earrings: ASOS.
I pair it with tights because if I bend over you can see my hoo-ha and the boots are from Marshalls, the perfect heel to givce me a little height without the pain of high heels.
And my camera! One of my many other passions - that I've picked up again! And soon will be learning to use my new DSLR!
Our experiences and journey gives us a different perspective and my blog and soon my photography, helps me express myself! And when I say that anyone can buy fashion, anyone buy brands, it's not coming from a place of bitterness or jealousy but from an experience that is different from yours.
Style has ways to go beyond brand names! Style can express more than a price tag can! Style has depth! So by no means am I writing this blogs thinking that I am Fashion Blogger - I am simply living through a Journal Fatshion Blogging Adventure - to help other fat women see their own beauty!
And when I watched the film about Mrs. Apfel and reading her quote - it not only reminded about my style choices but about my recent presentation after presentation after presentation for the program I work for - because every time, just before I have to present - I get super anxious!
But in my most recent presentations I have found it to be more soothing when I give personal anecdotes about why I enjoy working with our families and why I began to volunteer for our program.
The first few times that I would share my personal stories, I would get teary eyed because I am reminded of why I do what I do and why I am who I am.
I grew up in East Side San Jose and lived in section 8 apartments all my life, well into my adulthood - until my husband - my then fiance and I decided to move out on our own. At a very young age I came to understand the differences in society when you have money vs when you do not.
I remember at a staff development training we were asked when was the first time you noticed race - and I couldn't think of an exact moment. But the memory that resonated the most wasn't about race it was about socioeconomic status.
So here's a little family history, my mother migrated to the United States because of the Civil War in Nicaragua (that's in Central America;-) And her leaving wasn't by choice, my grandma (technically my great aunt but she raised my mom so she's my grandma) told my mom that she needed to accompany her brother, whether she wanted to or not.
My mother didn't come looking for the "American Dream" but by the time the war had ended, I had been born and my brother was just an infant and by then my mom opted to stay in the United States since I had already started schooling and my mother figured that my brother and I had a better shot in the US BUT my grandma wasn't in complete agreement with her choice - so majority of summers from my childhood were spent in Nicaragua so that I wouldn't forget my roots.
You see, my grandma could afford a lifestyle of grandeur, she was pretty well off and during some summers had me attend etiquette classes and my mom grew up pretty well off in a two story house with maids and a guaranteed business to take over. Thus, during those summers and at a very young age I could see the power behind money, the discrimination behind money and the meanness behind money.
I love my grandma with all my heart and I learned at a young age that my views on the world would always be in high contrast from hers and it became more evident after one of my last childhood summers in Nicaragua.
We had just come back from eating at one of the more bougie restaurants and because I hadn't finished all my food took a "doggie bag" home (much to my grandma's chagrin because the "rich" don't "need" to eat leftovers according to my classes) and on our way home we stopped at a red light and there was a child washing windows for mere chumps of change.
The little boy couldn't have been older than 9 years-old - so I rolled down my window and was about to give him my left-overs - when all of a sudden - my grandma gripped my arm with a force that scared the sh*t out of me! I got scared and dropped the food and I cried as I saw the little boy run toward the food that had spilled all over the street road and I cried because the little boy frantically picked up the food - how hungry do you have to be, to be willing to eat food that just hit a street road?
And just when I thought it couldn't get worse, we're still at the red light, and the little boy offers to wash our windows! My grandma then instructs our driver to not let him and to drive off! As we drive off - I look back and the little boy, and he looks so confused and as I'm ready to sulk my grandma slaps me! (If you haven't picked up on it - my grandma is very old-school) She tells me that it's not my job to take care of "those" people! I was a child and couldn't form my thoughts or my words but now as an adult - I believe that memory to be a very formative moment as to why I am who I am today.
So now, when some super ignant folks truly get so much enjoyment by referring to my hood, my barrio as the ghetto - I think back to this memory. And when these same ignant folks look down at those neighborhoods and not only the neighborhood but the people that live there as well, I think back to this memory.
These same ignant people refer to us as ghetto, poor and low class - but if they had any sense - especially if you're "college educated"! If YOU had any smarts you would know the politically correct terms are gentrification and low-to-very-low-income neighborhoods. You would know WHY people live under different circumstances! And if you know WHY - you do not throw those terms around!
And before y'all roll your eyes about being PC - to be PC means to be socially aware of people's cultures, to have empathy on what might offend some folks - to be compassionate of other people's experiences and perceptions.
So when ignant folks refer to my neighborhood as the ghetto or that some how we're "lower class" believe you me that I have something to say!
My parents brought me up to treat the custodian with the same respect I would treat a CEO!
And by all means I have met people and am related to people of all classes and cannot deem one set of people one way or another! One, because it's not my place to do so, two, I understand folks have had different experiences and THREE! Because I do not live under the DELUSION that I am better than anyone else because I have pretty things and others do not!
I can promise you that I have met folks with nothing to their name that carry more class in their pinky finger than some folks with everything who carry themselves with so much crass!
Sooooooooooo much crass that it's embarrassing to me and themselves!
Because for all the "education" you've had and all degrees you have in the world, none of it will mean anything if you still can't respect yourself, your family and other people's families experiences - So how about you try kindness, it doesn't cost you a damn thing!
Fatshion with a message!
That is all,
'Til next time,
Toodles,
MRS, Lilly Perez-Ngo
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