FATshion Journal Blog by Lilly

Gun to head... Dots or solids? DOTS! Duh! I am obsessed with dots... When I'm shopping, I have to stop myself about 85% of the time from buying more polk-a-dots. A closet dreams I have on the daily... A closet arranged by color (current status-ish) and having a rainbow set of polk-a-dots blouses... Awgh... And in honor of the Rock the Dots QUEEN, Minnie Mouse, I am rocking my dots with my new favorite pantalones! I've been in love with the look of these pants all my life- I've loved them on every fashion magazine, on every fashion model, and on every stick-figured mannequin. And every time I would built up the nerve to try them on, I would be super-let-down when they didn't look the same way on me. Thus I've grown extremely resentful for the kinda mind-fucking that happens to my brain through advertising. But in the last 5 years since finally joining the social media realm... And being introduced to IG... My perspective and the mind-fuckery o...

I remember feeling so pissed off last year and this year I'm really doing okay. I had a rough mental year - I fantasized on more than one occasion a world without me and it took an outstanding toll on me. But in a good way, because after the darkest hour comes light because I feel like I am more centered; I feel prepared because in this rough year, though I contemplated ending it all, I also developed tools* to help me deal with those dark thoughts. *Healthy tools, i.e. It has a lot to do with placing myself and folks around me into "boxes." I already compartmentalize my life and have started to do that with those that surround me. I have a better understanding of what to expect of people and I understnd better what to expect of myself. By no means am I resentful of the boxes people live in; this tool has helped me cope with feelings of being wronged, ignored or unloved. Being angry only shortens your breath and poisons your soul - "so baby, d...