Motherhood and Vinh-Isms: The Sh-Stuff My HusVinh Says... Vol. 5 Issue 1

This blog-post began with the purest intention to be funny and our weddi-versary trip conversations inspired me to REWRITE the whole post with an "announcement" and my hubby's VinhIsms.

Here we go... A disclaimer - I'm not mad - this is a PSA for us married women (couples) getting tired of being asked - "So when are you gonna start a family?"

MOTHERHOOD one of the many hats as a uterus-carrying-human-being I am expected to wear. Especially when I've been a committed relationship for ten years... And married for two of those years...

And with a recent emotional reaction at work from getting my period- I need to remind myself that the majority of my life choices are based on what's best for me and what makes me happy.

You see, we are NOT trying. BUT I have been officially off the pill for 7 months and nothing.

A few months before being officially off the pill I had missed a couple of days of the pill and when we hear several stories of "I only missed the pill one or two days and oopsie-daisy, I'm pregnant." It kinda makes us feel like - alrighty - it's that easy...

And so for a brief moment from August to October - I thought I might be preggers because at the beginning of October I realized I hadn't gotten my period in over 2 months and almost instantaneously within having the thought - I got my period. And that was that... I felt a bit of a tug at my uterus so I decided to get off the pill.

Fast forward to 7 months later and again from January to March - no period - spotting but no period - some cramps but no major bleeding like I am use to - so I read a few articles and saw that I may spot and cramp still - so I thought of buying a pregnancy test on Saturday night and on Sunday morning I got my period.

I went to Starbucks before work and was hit with an old familiar surge of pain - I went to bathroom and I immediately went into auto-pilot - I need a pad and go to work. Asking for the day-off wasn't an option and in the middle of a really bad cramp - I began to feel a panic attack over one of my life-long fears - what if I can't have babies... And as much as I tried to talk myself out of the panic attack, I began to cry and walked out with onlookers. When I came back I simply couldn't talk about it without tearing up.

I wish I could say getting and/or staying pregnant is easy as 1-2-3 but it isn't. And AGAIN I reiterate we are NOT trying so please stop asking us because even if we were - believe me, I wouldn't tell y'all. But imagine if we were - I hope to inspire compassion because trying and "failing" is just as heart-breaking when being told "you should start trying before the eggs dry up."

I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a wife. And I am a mother to our dogs. I bathe, feed, love, care and would take a bullet for my kids. I am a woman fulfilled. By no means am I saying being a doggy-mommy is the same as a human-mommy but I hope to inspire an understanding that I am fulfilled.

Our trio #LitaPatchNano - Nano not photographed - didn't wanna part with daddy

And listen, without even trying, I've been getting my pregger feels shut down by my period. And I know y'all are curious to see what my Fine-ass Asian hubby is going to procreate with this fine-ass of a Latina specimen BUT having kids for us is more about extending the family that is us and our trio #LitaPatchNano

It's the 21st century and families look different! We already have each other and our dogs, and that is our family picture. And to us, that is perfection. We are not in a hurry to expand. We will procreate for each other, when we feel like it. (If you didn't pick-up the hint - please pick-it-up now)

Our weddi-versary gave us SO MUCH TIME to talk to each other. We didn't have a TV nor any reception - so all we did was talk - we laughed, we cried and we resolved a lot of our recent concerns.

Though my life choices are based on giving zero-f*cks on what makes other people happy - I am also part of a team - the hubby and me - so not trying for a baby right now is a decision made with both of us understanding - in due time... If it happens tomorrow, great - if it happens a year, two years, three years from now... Awesome too!

Our world is complete with our trio

A few days before our weddi-versary I felt disconnected from my hubby because I felt like I was failing him as his wife by not becoming the status-quo mom and our mini-baecation couldn't have come at a better time - nothing makes you reconnect with your spouse like not having a TV, Facebook nor access to Insta (Y'all can imagine the horror - lol!)

As a surprise I told the hubby we would be bringing the kids - he likes to vacay with them and it's hard to find genuinely dog-friendly hotels and towns. And Gualala, California, didn't disappoint - we could go basically anywhere with our babies. The retreat where we stayed gave them their own little welcome bag - with blankets, snacks and water bowls.

All he wanted to do was fly his kite, walk our kids and hold my hand

We would go to sleep with the sky and wake up with sky. They would have breakfast at our our door by 8:30am and we would open our cottage door to the forest trees, with a view of the ocean afar and take a shower with a window facing pine trees. I mean, I know it was a mini-baecay but when I'm with my husband and my furry-kids - there's no place I'd rather be.

So without further ado... Here is why I continue to choose my HusVinh and why he is more than enough for forever...

My HusVinh LOVES to gossip... And when he's got gossip - he is ready to share! And here is what he said once, but the gossip was a bit of melancholy news so he says...

• "I got juicy gossip - but it's not good juicy it's kinda sad juicy"

I LOVE scary movies! Like, a night to myself watching a scary movie is what dreams are made of - (Just not Child's Play- I hate that damn doll) Anywho - while watching a scary movie at home, as he hides under blankets and behind pillows - i ask him to get my purse from our bedroom and he says...

• "I'm scared right now - I can't do anything right now"

I tell him to shut-up because he's not making any sense and to stop smiling all ncreepy and he says...

• "I wasn't done smiling and being awkward"

While getting ready to go to dinner - he was ironing his pants and freaks-out when he sees a "stain" I tell him to relax and he says...

• "Can I just be a little dramatic for a little bit, - it's not fair you do it enough for the both of us - all the time" 

We are watching a re-run of Friends and it's the episode of Ross' "flirting skills" and I mention that I do not have any flirting skills and I ask him, "Do you have any flirting skills... He says...

• "That's interesting and insulting" 

Lord knows I am an over-thinker - and Lord knows my HusVinh usually gets the brunt of my over-thinking tendencies - so on a late night drive home - from a really long day and evening - and I am trying to explain shallow people, and life not being black or white, there isn't an absolute right or wrong and he says...

• "How can your brain still be working at this hour"

He is telling me that someone thought he was 20 years-old and I start to laugh and he says...

• "Don't be a hater, not cute on you"

That is all,

'Til ext time, 

Toodles, 

Forever his FAT QUEEN and his Mrs. Lilly Perez-Ngo

Watching him with the kids and his kite warmed my heart more than any gift ever could...